Revenge of the Geeks
by Michmak
Summary: A continuation of Semper Ubi Sub Ubi – Nick and Greg get their revenge on Sara and Catherine. Sara gets even with Grissom.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Revenge of the Geeks

  
Authors: Michmak and Zheidi

  
Rating: PG13 for the subject matter and some language.

  
Summary: A continuation of Semper Ubi Sub Ubi – Nick and Greg get their revenge on Sara and Catherine.

__________________________________________

Nick rifled through the closet, messing up neatly hung clothes and dislodging shoes from their resting places on the floor.

"Nick. . ."

"Where do you keep your naughty stuff?" he asked, poking his head out of the door.

"My _what?" *If this bozo thinks I'm going to dress up for him on the first date, he's got another thing coming!*_

"Your naughty stuff. You know? Leather skirts, fishnet stockings, skintight vinyl blouses?"

Michelle raised an eyebrow. "Look, Nick, I think you're cute and everything, but I am really not going to do this with you on only our first real date. . ."

  
Nick shook his head. "No, baby. Not for you, for Catherine and Sara. I want to get some ideas. I'm really gonna make them squirm."

She almost laughed at the gleam in his eye and his clenched fist as he replayed the prior week's humiliations, but still, why did he care so much about getting Catherine and Sara into skimpy clothes? Surely he could think of a better way to humiliate them than that?  Michelle cocked an eyebrow at him, "Why are you so interested in getting them into skimpy clothes?"  

Nick shot his head out of the closet and grinned, "Are you kidding me?  Have you ever worn a hot pink garter and bustier with hosiery?"  Realizing what he had just asked her, he blushed and started stammering, "Geez – sorry.  Personal question – I'm…uh…shit."

Michelle laughed at his obvious embarrassment, even though she was a little red herself, "I don't own anything in hot pink," she replied, "and you'll just have to wait to see what colors I do have.  Push over – I have something in the very back that might suit what you're looking for."

  
~*~*~*~

Greg held up a pleather dress that zipped up the front. "I like this one."

Heidi rolled over on her bed to lay on her stomach and put her fist under her chin. "Not exactly your style, but it's one of my favorites."  
Greg approached the bed and Heidi raised herself to her knees. 

"It's not for me."

Heidi smiled and grabbed the other end of the dress, pulling Greg closer. "I didn't think I'd be wearing anything, but if you insist. . ."

"It's not for you, either," he said kissing her nose. "It's for Sara."

"Sara?" Heidi put her hands on Greg's chest and pushed him back a bit. "Listen, Greg, I'm not in the habit of allowing myself to be used in the place of another woman. If that's what you want, then I suggest you go and find someone else, because I have way too much respect for myself to allow you to. . ."

Greg silenced her with a small kiss. "I'm not interested in Sara, baby. I just want to make her pay for what she did to me. I'd rather see you in this dress than any other girl in the entire world. Really."

~*~*~*~

Sara hated losing, that was a given. But, losing to Greg and Nick - two people that she was always at least two steps ahead of - it was humiliating. 

"Sara? Are you going to be all right?"

  
Grissom. He was still here at her apartment. 

She forced a smile and turned to him. "Fine. I'll be just fine. See you Monday."

Grissom resisted as Sara pushed him towards her door, his face showing his uncertainty of her emotional state at this point.

"I can stay if you like. You're acting strange."

  
"Strange?" she couldn't believe that he was feigning innocence. "Strange? I'll tell you what's strange, Gil Grissom! It's strange to me that a genius such as yourself lost a Monopoly game to Greg and Nick!"

Grissom gulped audibly. "Things happen, Sara. Monopoly is a game that I'm unfamiliar with. . ."

  
"Don't give me that shit, Gil Grissom!" she continued to use his full name, causing him to look even more nervous. "I know that you're going to get off on seeing me in some little skimpy outfit, bending over to take fingerprints, sashaying through the hallways in stiletto heels! Don't even try to deny it!"

Grissom just raised his eyebrows, realizing that Sara "Iron Fist" Sidle had him pinned against a wall, her dark eyes shining with rage. 

"You're beautiful when you're angry," he squeaked out.

~*~*~*~

Warrick kissed Catherine's shoulder, then snaked his knee between both of hers. 

"If they make you wear anything really good, you might want to keep it."

She rolled over and rested her cheek against his smooth chest. "If they give me anything good to wear, I promise that you'll be the first one to take it off me."

Warrick tightened his arms around her shoulders and waist, grinning. It had been a long night.  Allowing his mind to drift, he wondered what Nick and Greg would have for the girls when Nick returned to work after his two nights off.  Knowing them, it would be outrageous.  Catherine seemed to be handling things pretty well right now, but if the outfits were too bad Warrick knew he would be in trouble.  Sending a silent plea towards heaven, he half-begged, 'Please, let it be workable', before sliding his hand up Catherine's back and drifting off to sleep.

~*~*~*~

"You are a wicked, wicked woman," Nick stared in awe at the outfit Michelle had pulled from the back of her closet, before allowing a large grin to crease his handsome face.  "There is no way in hell Sara would ever expect something like this!  As a matter of fact, I don't think _anyone would expect something like this.  I love it!  You have a devious mind!"_

Michelle grinned back, "You don't know the half of it!  Only one thing – you have to promise me you won't tell Sara were you got this from – I only met her tonight, and I have a feeling I wouldn't want to be on her shit list.  This get-up could make me Public Enemy #1.  She strikes me as the type of person who doesn't like making a spectacle of herself – and in this?  Definite spectacle."

Nick nodded happily, "She is going to rue to day she made me wear women's thongs."

"Rue the day, eh?" Michelle responded, teasing, "If I were her, I'd be shaking in my boots." She stood up on her tip-toes and gave Nick a playful shudder.

He grabbed her arms and pulled her closer. "You don't think she's a little scared?"

"Of you?"  Michelle grinned back, leaning into him even more. "You're a pussy-cat.  She probably thinks you're too much of a gentleman to really try to humiliate her.  Or at least she wishes you were."

"Wish in one hand, shit in the other – see which one gets filled first," Nick replied, releasing her arms and wrapping his hands around her waist.

Michelle started laughing and pulled away before walking back into her closet, "Can't tell you're from Texas," she teased, "Not at all!"

~*~*~*~

"Have you ever actually worn this?"  Greg waggled his eyebrows at Heidi and lifted the article of clothing in question.

Heidi grinned back saucily, "As a matter of fact, I have.  Why?"

Greg shrugged nonchalantly, "I'm thinking something like this might be good for Catherine – but how revealing is it?"

Heidi smirked, "She wouldn't get arrested for wearing it to work, but it might render the functioning brain cells of any man she comes into contact with useless – if they aren't already."

Greg clutched his chest dramatically, "Ouch – that hurt."

Heidi just laughed, "She'd really need knee-high patent leather boots to make the right impression, though. Besides, Greg – in case you haven't noticed – I'm quite a bit taller than Catherine, and I'm not a size 2.  I don't think it will fit her."

Greg eyed Heidi appreciatively, "You are definitely voluptuous – I bet this looks stunning on you."

"It would take a week for you just to roll your tongue back into your mouth," Heidi agreed.  "I have a friend who's around the same size as Catherine – she has the same outfit.  I can call her if you want."

"I want," Greg replied.  He held up the article of clothing in question and arched an eyebrow at Heidi.  "Can I talk you into showing me what this looks like on?  I mean, if Catherine can't bend over in it, I don't think Grissom would let her wear it at work."

"So – you want me to try this on so you can make sure? Like a clothing experiment?"  Heidi reached for the outfit, grinning.  "You're a brave man offering to sacrifice yourself like that just to make sure Catherine can work in an outfit like this.  This could send you into a permanent vegetative-state, though I've never had that reaction from a man before. Quite the opposite in fact." 

Greg smirked and walked over to Heidi's bed, leaning back on it as Heidi walked into the bathroom to change.  "I'll do anything in the name of science."

"You're so. . .giving," Heidi observed from behind the bathroom door.

~*~*~*~

Grissom had never seen Sara rendered speechless before.  But – there she was, mouth gaped open, eyes flashing at him, entire body shaking.  Grissom suddenly realized he should be scared.  Very scared.  

"Beautiful when I'm angry?  Beautiful when I'm angry?"  Sara finally managed to retort, "What the hell is going on?"  

"Going on?  Why Sara – nothing is going on -" Grissom replied, in his most soothing voice, "Can't I -"

"Shut-up.  Just shut-up for a second and let me think," Sara retorted.  Grissom could practically see the gears in her mind clicking into place, and he started to slowly inch his way towards the door.

"I think I'll be going now," he offered softly, blindly reaching for the door knob. His hand never got that far.  With surprising speed, Sara reached out and gripped his arm tightly, looking at him with sudden understanding and growing fury.

"You set me up!" she hissed at him, "You were in cahoots with Nick and Greg – you wanted to lose!"

"No – Sara – think about what you're saying. . ."

"It all makes sense now.  Dammit, Grissom!  Was it part of your plan to get Nick to tell everyone I have a crush on you as well?"

"No.  I didn't know he was going to say that at all.  I had no idea.  Sara -"  Grissom was at a loss for words, "Sara.  I didn't know he was going to say that.  But – is it true?"

Sara glared at him, "Tell me why you set me up, and I'll tell you if it's true or not."

Grissom sighed, "Warrick talked me into it."

"Why?"

"He knew Nick and Greg wanted to get back at you and Catherine, and thought it would be fun to help.  Plus, he wanted to see Catherine in skimpy clothes."

"And?  What about you?"

"I don't want to see Catherine in skimpy clothes." Grissom was being deliberately obtuse, and he knew it.  Sara just raised an eyebrow at him.  Grissom sighed.

"Okay.  I was hoping that Nick would put you in something that would show off your legs.  You always wear jeans."

"You wanted to see my legs?"  The hand that had been tightly gripping his forearm loosened a little and ran up to his shoulder.  Her fingertips gently scrapped against his neck, and Grissom closed his eyes against the sudden surge of heat.

"Among – other things…" he managed to squeak out.  Sara slid her hand into the curls at the nape of his neck, massaging lightly.  Grissom felt as if he was being incinerated from the inside out.  "Will you… do you...forgive me?"

"For wanting to see my legs," Sara purred, practically in his ear, "Yes – I forgive you."  Before Grissom could sigh in relief, Sara continued, "For conspiring with Nick to beat me at Monopoly?  You have to do something for me first."

Grissom opened his eyes and looked into Sara's.  Amusement and anger warred within their chocolate depths.  Sara's mouth was mere inches from his own.  He hoped she was smiling.

"Anything.  I'll do anything."

"That's what I hoped you'd say," Sara whispered, before leaning in and kissing him.

Grissom thought he'd died and gone to heaven.  Little did he know the purgatory Sara had in store for him.

~*~*~*~

Greg was almost late for work on Monday. On Sunday, he had forgotten the outfit for Catherine when he went home to shower and change, and he was forced to call Heidi, who worked the night shift at the Deli and was sleeping, so he could stop by on his way in and get it.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

She waved her hand as she handed him a brown paper bag. "Don't worry. I had to get up in a few hours anyway."

Greg kissed her cheek. "Thanks, baby. I'll stop in for dinner if they don't castrate me."

"They can do anything but that," Heidi commented, brushing wild blonde hair out of her face. "Have fun and be careful."

"You, too."

  
Greg then got into his Jeep and drove away, screeching into the parking lot of the Crime Lab just in time to see Grissom and Sara get out of the same Tahoe. 

"Well, well, well," he mused to himself. "Looks like we all had a cozy weekend."

"Talking to yourself?" Nick asked behind him.

Greg turned around and motioned to the new couple. "Check out our boss."

  
"Miracles happen. What did you get from Heidi for Catherine? You said it was good over the phone."

Greg and Nick both looked around in the parking lot, to make sure that no one could see them, then Greg opened the bag and took out a one-piece red velvet short suit. Nick opened his eyes wide.

"Heidi just had that laying around?"

  
"Actually, she had to borrow it as she is a perfect 10 and Catherine's only a 2."

"I'm going to tell her that you said that."

"What did you bring?"

  
Nick looked around again. "Didn't really have to worry about sizes with this, so I lucked out. Check this—"

"Guys?"

They both looked up at Sara who was standing in the doorway to the lab.

"Guys? Are you coming in? Not that I want to put on stupid clothes for you, but the quicker we get this done, the faster we can get out in the field!"

Nick and Greg walked to the door and entered to find Catherine and Warrick standing behind Sara. Greg handed his bag over to Catherine, and Nick handed a similar bag over to Sara. Warrick smirked. He was really hoping for something good.

"This doesn't weigh much," Catherine observed nervously.

"This does, though," Sara noted skeptically. 

Nick shrugged. "Hey, shift's almost started. Y'all had best go change."

~*~*~*~

Catherine was just thankful that it was stretchy velvet.

"Hey, Daisy _Duke," Warrick said when he walked into the break room. _

Catherine turned around, the metal clasps of the halter rubbing against the back of her neck.

"Those shorts would kill with a pair of knee-high boots, baby."

Catherine drank her coffee and hoped that she could put on a sweater if she had to go out in the field.

"How does that thing hook up, anyway?"

Warrick feigned interest in coffee as he reached around Catherine to grab the pot, but was more intent on looking down her plunging neckline to inspect the bra situation.

She wasn't wearing one.

He abandoned the coffee pot and put his hand on her back where there was no material, then followed the line of her spine down until his fingertips reached the hem of fabric, just below her right cheek. 

All the while, Catherine kept the same look on her face, not taking her eyes from Warrick's for a second. When his other hand reached the clasp of the halter, though, her eyes widened perceptively and she took in a deep breath.

"Easy access," Warrick commented. "Me lika da dress."

"Warrick?" Grissom's voice pulled him out of his trance. "If you're going to try and keep Catherine warm, could you just loan her your jacket? We've got work to do."

Warrick reluctantly released his hold on Catherine, but not before giving her cheek another squeeze. He was going to hold her to her word about taking it off later.

"Where's Sara?" He asked, sitting down at the table.

Grissom cleared his throat nervously and adjusted his glasses. "She. . .uh. . ."

"I'm right here," Sara said from the doorway. 

Warrick and Catherine both looked up, unsuccessfully stifling giggles. 

"What the hell?" Grissom practically shouted.

TBC

____________________

Author's Note:

Okay – as promised – a continuation of the extremely kooky Semper Ubi Sub Ubi – if you haven't read that story, go and read it!  It is mandatory reading before you can read this story.  We mean it.  Otherwise, REVENGE  will make even less sense than it already does!  Hope you all had a great Christmas!  Hope you'll have a great New Years!

"SARA SIDLE IRON FIST" is directly attributable to Stepf aka Forensiphile, whom we're blatantly ripping off….uhh…paying homage to…by stealing her idea.  Stepf, you rock!


	2. The Score

II

Nick heard Grissom's startled bellow from Greg's lab, and promptly collapsed into a lab seat laughing.  "They've seen her!"

Greg laughed too, even though he had no idea what was so funny.  He hadn't seen Sara yet.  Nick had insisted the two of them hang out in the lab for a while after shift began, with the door locked from the inside so no one else could get in.

At the time, Greg had protested. "I want to see Catherine in her outfit!  I want to see the look on her face!  And Sara – I want to see what you got for her to wear!"

"Trust me, Greggo – you'll see Sara soon enough.  I'm only doing this for your own safety.  Sara will be out for blood, and I don't think she'll care who she kills."

While Greg had sincerely doubted the veracity of this statement, Nick's hysterical laughter just from Grissom's surprised shout quickly convinced him Nick had been right to be concerned about their safety.  "What did you bring her?" he hissed at Nick, eyes wide with dismay.

Nick just snickered unrepentantly, "You'll see soon enough."

Greg pressed himself up against the glass window of the lab, anxiously eyeballing the hallway leading towards the break room through the sliver of peripheral vision available.  Sure enough, within seconds, he saw Sara striding down the hallway.  "Here she comes.  And Grissom is behind her – and – oh my God!  Nick!" Greg didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  "I should never have let you talk me into this!"

~*~*~*~ 

Catherine and Warrick could not stop giggling.  Sara glared at them balefully, before turning the full-force of her current wrath on Grissom.  "I blame you!" she snarled.  "You and your brilliant plan to set me up to lose a damned bet to the Gonzo twins."

"Sara – I had no idea….I mean, I never thought…." Grissom was stammering.  "I'm going to kill them!"

"Not if I get them first!" Sara muttered darkly.  "Where are they?  Little shits."  Spinning on the balls of her feet, Sara stalked down the hallway.  

Grissom jumped to his feet and shot a quick look at Warrick, expression grim as he stated, "I can't believe I let you talk me into this!" before quickly falling Sara down the hall.

His abrupt departure and worried blue eyes were the icing on the cake.  Warrick and Catherine exploded as soon as the room was clear.

"Oh my god.  Nick is either the bravest man on the face of the planet, or the stupidest!" Catherine finally managed to gasp out, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes.

Warrick merely shook his head in agreement, clutching his chest, "Can't breath.  Hurts. Too. Much!"

~*~*~*~ 

"You can't stay in there forever," Sara hollered at Nick and Greg through the door of the lab.  "Shift has already started, and you'll have to come out to work sometime, Nick!"

Nick  grinned at her, "What?!  Don't you like your outfit?"

Sara just glared at him, and tried to rip the doorknob from the door, "What do you think?"

Behind her, Grissom also glared at Nick, "This isn't funny, Nick!"

"What are you complaining for?  You get to see her legs!" Nick retorted.

Sara's sudden screech and Grissom angry blush set Nick to laughing again.  "Come on, Sara.  It's no worse than the lingerie you forced me to wear.  As a matter of fact, it's a damn sight less revealing!"

Behind him, Greg gaped mutely at Nick, before forcing his stunned gaze back to Sara. Far from wearing the stiletto heels, fishnet stockings and the short leather skirt Greg had imagined Nick would choose, Sara's outfit was quite outside that.  She was wearing shoes of course – except they were shiny red vinyl.  Her tights were rainbow colored stripped wool – every single color under the sun, different stripes on both legs, drawing the eyes upwards to a skirt made entirely out of hideous men's ties attached to a baggy, patch work vest and an oversize tie with a clown face on it.  No wonder Sara was pissed.  Nick had turned her into Bozo.

Sara turned away from the window and walked away, causing Grissom to look confused and both Nick and Greg to wonder what was going to happen. 

When Sara returned with a metal stool to break the window, they had a sudden revelation.

"Sara!" Nick called. "Sara - listen to me! You made me wear two thongs, two bustiers, and a _corset_! All I've got you in is a dress."

Grissom wrenched the stool from her fingers. 

"Sara, he's right. Think about it. You can't do this."

Sara gave him a cold look. "You are so going down, Grissom. Going down."

Grissom gulped uncomfortably, and then turned back to the boys behind glass.

"Assignments, Nick. You'd better go to the break room – you work with Cath and Warrick tonight.  Sara, you're with me." 

"But -"Sara began, but Grissom interrupted her.

"Sara, let it go. It's only for three days."

Sara turned her head away from the glass wall that the boys were hiding behind and looked at Grissom. 

"Oh, I'll let it go." Her voice was cold, causing a shudder to race down his spine. He was afraid to ask her what her motivation was.

"Good. Shall we?" He hoped that by keeping his tone light, whatever mischief she had brewing in her head would be forgotten.

Easier said than done.  

When they got out to the Tahoe, Sara turned to him and started running her fingers through his hair.

"Sara, this is hardly appropriate in the parking lot of CSI."

"Then you'd better get out of here."

Grissom wanted desperately to both give into her caress, and to push her hand away. He instead just put the truck in gear and drove off, Sara's slim fingers still rubbing his scalp.

"Sara?" Was she trying to kill him? "Sara?"

"Hmmm?"

"Stop it. We're at work, we need to concentrate."

"I'm concentrating."

"What are you trying to accomplish here?" He was starting to sweat.

He wasn't looking at her, but he could feel her grin. Warm and strong and evil.

"I'm not mad at Nick and Greg any more, Grissom. I've decided that whatever they put me in from now on is fine. I won't fight it, or them, and I won't get upset with them, either."

Grissom gulped audibly. "That's really very big of you, Sara." God, her hand was still in his hair. . .

"It is, isn't it?"

Why did he think that she had more up her sleeve right now? "I'm very proud of you. Some people would be livid."

"I'm not most people."

That evil grin was still on her face. He could actually hear it in her voice. What was it that she was planning on doing to him?

"Sara?" He finally mustered the strength to pull her hand away at a stoplight, then turned to face her, finding the devilish grin just as he had supposed. "What are you _not_ telling me?"

~*~*~*~

Nick watched Sara and Grissom as they walked down the hallway, heaving a visible sigh of relief when he could no longer see them.  "I think we're safe for now, Greggo."

Greg just shook his head, not sure whether to laugh at his friend or smack him in the back of the head.  "I thought you were going to put her in something _sexy."_

"What – you don't think the clown suit is sexy?"  Nick retorted.  "Some people think clowns are very sexy.  As a matter of fact, I had a friend once who always wanted to make love to a clown."

Greg snorted, "Yeah.  Right."

"I'm serious.  He told me he talked his girlfriend into doing the full face-make up once, and he said it totally turned him on.  He was a little odd."  Nick shook his head as he unlocked the lab door and started down the hallway.

Greg followed closely behind him, half expecting Sara to be lying in wait, as he snorted again.  "Must have been one of your wild frat brothers, because no normal person would think that way."

Nick turned to respond as he walked into the break room, "This, coming from a guy who likes lederhosen."  He stopped talking when he saw Greg's jaw drop, and slowly turned to see what the younger man was staring at.

Catherine had stood as they wandered in, striking a sultry pose in the red velvet one piece halter / hot pants combo.  Smiling devilishly at Greg, she slowly wandered over to him.  "Thank you for not turning me into Clara the Clown," she purred, "I knew there was a reason I liked you better than Nick."

Nick just started laughing, "Wow.  Cath – that outfit is absolutely stunning.  You look hot!  And Ouch! don't insult me – I get to choose your outfit for you tomorrow.  If you hurt my feelings, I'll do _worse than a clown outfit for you."_

Catherine just grinned at him, "You won't do anything of the sort, because if you do I'll tell Sara that Michelle is the one who gave you the clown suit – and the idea.  You'd never be able to bring her to any group functions again – Sara would definitely kill her."

Nick gaped at her, "Michelle?  She didn't – what are you talking about, Catherine?"

"Nicky, Nicky, Nicky – do you think I'm stupid?" Catherine patted him on the cheek saucily.  "You were all for stiletto heels and micro-minis the other day. Just like any normal red-blooded man would be.  And Sara was looking forward to dressing up in sexy clothes – if only to make Grissom sweat - even though she wouldn't admit it. Only another woman could come up with something this devious.  And I warn you now – if you try putting me in a clown suit, I'll spill the beans."

Nick grinned, "Cath – you know I love you.  And I value our friendship.  I would never put you in a clown suit.  Besides which, Warrick would maim me."

"Damn straight," Warrick replied.  "So, Grissom has a murder for us.  I s'pose we've wasted enough time here.  You want to head out?"

Nick looked at his watch, "Yeah – let's get going.  Cath, you want to stay here and do paperwork?  Warrick and I can handle this on our own."

Catherine just smirked, "What?  And waste this outfit?  No way.  I am woman; hear me roar!" The three men laughed, and watched Catherine as she strolled out of the break room, hips undulating as she moved, before she turned back and looked at them over her bare shoulder, "Although, I think I'll have to grab my black suit jacket – it's too cold to be outside in just this, and I don't want to distract you men too much."

~*~*~*~

A horn honked behind Grissom and Sara, and Grissom suddenly realized he was in his car, on his way to a crime scene. 

With great apprehension, he drove down the road, stealing glances at Sara every now and then, wondering what torture she'd have in store for him when they got to their destination.

"You're going to blackmail me somehow," Grissom muttered. 

Sara smiled again. "You have no idea."

Grissom sighed. "So just tell me and get it over with!"

Sara grinned from ear to ear. 

~*~*~*~

If there was anything that Catherine hated, it was halter-tops. As well endowed as she was, the halter strap always dug into her neck, and the fact that it was a one-piece meant that the entire outfit pulled and pinched in all the wrong places. She might as well have been wearing a thong like she made the boys do. 

"How ya doing, Cath?" Nick asked behind her.

"I'm fine, Nicky. Just checking out these footprints. You wanna hand me the ALS?"

Nick grinned and grabbed the light source. "Where do you want me to aim it?"

Catherine longed to pull her wedgie out of her crack, but she was determined not to in front of Nick and his grinning face. She knew he could see how uncomfortable she must be, but she would not allow any of it to show on her face. 

"Catherine!"

She was glad for one thing:  Warrick was with her. "Yeah, War?"

"Come here and look at this thing for me? I'm not sure what it is!"

Catherine stood and gave Nick a wink before walking off to find Warrick. Once around the corner, she stood against the wall and dislodged her hotpants from her hiney. 

"You all right?" Warrick whispered.

"I'm fine. I'll just be happy when I get home and take this contraption off."

"You promised me that _I'd_ be the one who'd take it off!"

Catherine rolled her eyes. "Fine. You can be the one to take it off. Just as long as it comes off!"

He smiled. "It will."

"What are you two doing?" Nick called from the other room.

Catherine groaned, "We're just checking out a few structural anomalies!"

Warrick chuckled, "Come on, Cath. Let me show you what I found."

~*~*~*~

"You want me to _what_?!"

Sara sighed. "It's not that big of a deal, Griss. And it's only for a few days. Isn't that what you've been telling me all weekend?"

Grissom pulled the car over and parked, still not believing what Sara was telling him.

"You have got to be nuts."

"Maybe," she shrugged, "but it's what I want. I suffer, you suffer. Got it?"

______________

Author's Note:

Okay, peoples.  Here you go.  Hehe.  Wait until you all see what we're cooking up for day two.  Please R&R.  And before anyone emails us to point out the complete unfeasibility of Sara ever wearing a clown outfit to a crime scene, please remember:  this is just a story, cooked up in the unbelievably madcap minds of Heidi and I.


	3. Caught in the Act

III – CAUGHT IN THE ACT

"I was expecting you half an hour ago – what the hell took you so long?"  

Grissom shrugged ruefully at Brass, "Don't ask!  Let's just say Sara isn't too happy, and leave it at that."

"Sara?"  Brass quirked an eyebrow at Grissom, before allowing a tiny smirk to crease his face, "Oh yes.  The bet – so, what did the boys put her in?  Micro-mini?  Tube top?"

"Clown suit," Grissom muttered.  Brass' eyes widened and he choked back a snort.

"Clown – as in Bozo?  Wow.  No wonder she's pissed – this I gotta see."

"If you value your life, don't say anything.  And you won't see it 'til we get back to the lab – I told her she could wear my forensics jumpsuit while we were here."

"Favoritism -" Brass chided teasingly, "What would Nick say?  Everyone knew he was wearing thongs."

Grissom glanced around guiltily, before looking back to Brass, "Do you see Nick?"

Brass shook his head, and Grissom sighed, "Then he never has to know, does he?"

* * * * *

"I think we've got everything," Warrick said, sauntering over to Nick.

Catherine was talking to Lockwood, who was doing an admirable job of pretending she wasn't wearing the sexiest outfit he had ever seen.  Warrick appreciated the fact that the detective kept focused on Catherine's face and not her chest.

"Good," Nick replied.  "Griss and Sara aren't too far away – let's swing by there, and see if we can help with anything – maybe run some stuff back to the lab."

Catherine overhead Nick, and turned to him and grinned.  "You just want to gloat at Sara some."

"Anything wrong with that?" Nick chuckled, "She did the same to me when she had me in the thongs.  You gloated too, Cath – only, not as much."  Nick picked up his field kit as he walked over to where she was standing, and bent to pick up hers as well.  "Besides which, I don't trust Sara to keep the outfit on when I'm not around.  I need to keep her on her toes."

"Her red-vinyl covered toes," Warrick grinned.

* * * * *

Grissom's Forensics jumpsuit was way too big on Sara.  Although she and Grissom were close to the same height, Sara was much skinnier.  She felt like she was swimming in excess material, and the tie-skirt was bunched uncomfortably around her crotch.

Grissom tried to hide his amusement when she trudged towards him, gripping the front of the suit tightly at the waist with one hand, the other holding her field kit.

Beside him, Brass made an odd snorting sound, "I can still see the clown shoes."

 "Pretend you don't," Grissom advised _sotto voce.  "I wouldn't mention them if I were you."_

Sara glared at the whispering men, "Knock it off."

"Isn't that Grissom's suit, Sara?"

"So?  Mine was too tight over my outfit.  At least I can button Grissom's over my clothes.  I'm sure he's already told you what I'm wearing."

Brass tried not to grin when he nodded at her, "I called Nick Wong Fu when he was wearing thongs.  But I have a feeling if I start calling you Ronald McDonald I'll become my own crime scene."

Sara flashed her teeth at Brass in a scary semblance of a smile, "You got that right."

Grissom gripped Sara's arm in his hand and pulled her inside the apartment building, trying to prevent a scene from erupting. Sara was a strong-willed woman, and he knew too well what she was capable of when riled. 

Sara followed along behind him, grinning evilly to herself. 

Grissom would pay for putting her through this embarrassment. He was putty in her hand.

~*~*~*~  
  


Sara was dusting for prints when Brass ran into the room she was in.

"Take it off!" he commanded.

"Excuse me?"

Brass didn't offer any explanation, but he grabbed the lapels of the jumpsuit and pulled the buttons open.

"Take it off!"

Sara just stared at the older man in bewilderment. She had never known him to act this way before. She wasn't sure if she should be scared or angry, and settled on confused instead.

Then she heard Nick's voice down the hall.

"Shit!"

She stripped out of the jumpsuit and handed it to Brass.

"I don't want it!" he exclaimed, throwing the suit around like a hot potato until it landed on the floor.

"Well I can't get caught with it!"

"Where's Sara?" Nick's voice asked from another part of the apartment. 

"She's in the other room. And before you ask, yes, she's wearing that ridiculous get-up you forced her into this morning."

"She'd better be. I still have scabs from what she did to me."

Sara rolled the jumpsuit up as tightly as she could and stuffed it into her case. 

She smirked at how Nick could really pile on the southern accent when he wanted to. 

"I'm right here, Cowboy," Sara said as she stepped into the main room of the apartment. "Was this what you wanted to check?"

Nick tried his best 'I'm a saint' look, but it didn't quite work. "I just wanted to help, Sara. That's all I'm here for."

Sara, Grissom and Brass all snorted at the same time.

"Where's Cath and Warrick then?" Brass wondered.

Nick looked uncomfortable. "In the Tahoe."

"Backseat," Sara remarked dryly. "Classy."

"Yeah, I'll be needing your Nonoxynol 9 for the drive home," Nick said, nervously running his hand through his hair. "Well, I guess it's crowded in here as is, so I'll take the two rabbits back to the lab and see what Greg is up to."

"Good idea," Grissom told him. "You go do that. Have fun with Greg."

Sara laughed.

"Excuse me?"

Grissom shrugged. "Have fun with Greg…you know…doing whatever it is that you two do together."

Brass snickered as well.

"Shut up."

"Bye, Nicky!" Sara called as the dark-haired man headed for the door.

"Fuck you, Sara!" then he turned. "Oh, wait. That's Grissom's job."

The minute the words had left his mouth, Nick wished he could take them back – or at least, had whispered the last part.  Even though his back was to Grissom and Sara, he could just imagine the look on Grissom's face – he was sure the older man was on the verge of apoplexy.  And Sara.  Sara.  If he made it through this night alive, he would consider himself a lucky man.

In front of him, Brass tried to school his face into a calm mask, but his quivering lips gave him away.  "You have a death wish, Nicky," he whispered as the younger man moved past him.  "First you put Sara in a clown suit and now -" he shook his head, "You tease them about sex."

Nick scowled as Brass turned and dogged his footsteps, "She makes me so mad, I just can't control myself!"

"Well, you better learn to control yourself.  What if someone else had been standing there when you said that?  Can you imagine the rumors your little jab would have started?"

Nick looked chagrined, "You're right.  I'll apologize to them later."

Brass smiled and clapped Nick on the shoulder, "Good.  And now that that's cleared up, I have to ask – are they finally…"

Nick grinned and shrugged, "Ask them yourself."

* * * * *

Sara was humiliated.  Brass kept looking from her to Grissom, hiding neither his smirk nor the speculative gleam in his eye as he contemplated Nick's parting shot.  Grissom – calm and cool as always – ignored him and wandered into a new room to look around.  But Sara was finding ignoring Brass was becoming increasingly difficult.

"What?" she finally snapped, when Brass shot her another look and grinned, "Spit it out, Brass!"

"I was just wondering if you'd ever thought of running away and joining the circus when you were younger – the look suits you."

"Ha ha," Sara snapped.  "That's not what you were thinking, and you know it!"

Brass cocked an eyebrow at her, "No?  Are you channeling the Amazing Kreskin now?"

Sara calmly put the evidence bags she had collected in her kit, even though the hectic red flush on her face and her shaking hands betrayed the serious need she was feeling to punch something.  Turning towards Brass, she counted to ten before flashing her teeth at him.  "You're wondering what Nick meant by his last remark."

Brass grinned, "You _are_ the Amazing Kreskin!"

"Would it bother you if we were seeing each other?"

"You see each other every day, Sara," Bras replied dryly, "so why would it bother me?  Quite frankly, I would be happy if you two were seeing _more_ of each other.  The UST and PSV's between you two the last couple of years has been distracting."

Sara frowned, "UST?  PSV?"

Brass rolled his eyes, "Unresolved Sexual Tension and Personal Space Violations – you know, like Mulder and Scully…"

"Mulder and Scully?"  Sara was baffled.

"X-Files?  Mulder and Scully – you telling me you never watched X-Files?  You've never read any fanfiction?"

Sara shrugged, "Sorry Brass.  I don't watch TV that often.  What's fanfiction?"

* * * * *

"I can't believe you two," Nick muttered, as he wiped the steam from the inside of the windows of the Tahoe, "I feel like I'm in high school again.  Don't force me to make you come up front, Warrick."

"As if you could!" Warrick retorted. "So, Sara still in the clown suit?"

"Yep," Nick grinned.  "Frankly, I was surprised.  I was sure she would have talked Grissom into letting her change – but there she was, in all her Technicolor glory."

Catherine snorted inelegantly, "You're a cruel man, Nick."

Looking at Catherine through the drivers' mirror, Nick grinned, "You better remember that!"

The ringing cell phone kept Nick from saying anything else, "Stokes.  Hey Greg.  Yeah, we're heading back now.   Okay – I'll meet you there in 15 minutes.  Later."  Hanging up, he muttered in the general vicinity of the back seat, 'That was Greg."

"So we gathered," Warrick retorted dryly.

"And you're meeting him at The Deli Llama in fifteen minutes," Catherine added.

"How in the world did you know that?"

"Easy," Catherine leaned forward and teasingly tried to mess Nick's short hair as he drove, "Heidi's working tonight.  It's time for a break.  Hence – break at the deli; see Heidi.  And speaking of Heidi, tell her thank you for the outfit for me.  I'm especially grateful after seeing Sara."

"You're scary, Cath," Nick replied, as he pulled into the parking lot of the lab.  "So, you guys mind taking the evidence to the lab?  Greg and I need to confab about tomorrow's costumes…I mean outfits."

* * * * *

Greg was sitting on a stool at the counter staring balefully at a pickle, Heidi grinning evilly in front of him, when Nick walked in.

"Hey Heidi – Cath says thanks for the outfit," Nick offered as he slid onto the empty stool beside Greg.  "You gonna eat that pickle, or try to vaporize it with your laser-vision, Greggo?"

"Funny, Nick.  You're a laugh-riot."  

Nick winked at Heidi, "See – only one or two dates, and she's already trying to change you…."

"Hey – lips that don't touch vegetables and other healthy foods will never touch mine," Heidi grinned, "at least, not as often as they want to.  And for your information, Nick – that's an ice pickle.  They're quite good."

Nick shrugged, "Whatever.  Looks like someone dipped a Smurf in formaldehyde."

Heidi raised an eyebrow. "Smurf in formaldehyde. . . Nicky, you're not helping my cause, and if you don't help my cause, I won't help you with yours."

"Which cause would that be?" Nick wondered. 

"Uh. . .supplying you with clothing for Catherine and Sara. Greg - eat your pickle."

Greg made a growling noise, then took a bite out of the pickled cucumber before him.

"Today pickles, tomorrow, iceberg lettuce!"

"Don't go overboard, Heidi," Nick cautioned. "I've never seen him eat anything green that wasn't sour apple flavored."

Heidi frowned. "Well, we'll start out small and work our way up."

Greg took another bite from his pickle, then looked at his new girlfriend. "So, what are we going to put the girls in tomorrow?"

Heidi grinned evilly. "I've got something for Sara that will make Gil's head spin around so fast, you'll be calling an exorcist to get it to stop."

"And Catherine?" Nick wondered.

"I called Michelle this morning. She has a lead on a. . . ahem. . . 'super' outfit, so to speak."

"I don't know if I like the gleam in your eye," Greg admitted suddenly. "You look. . .devious."

"Scary," Nick agreed.

"I'm frightened."

Heidi rolled her eyes. "Look, you wanted our help, and Michelle and I have had fun together figuring everything out. I like her. She's a good girl, Nick. Hold on tight."

"I intend to, thank you."

Greg checked his watch. "So, should I stop by tonight to get the clothes?"

"Why don't I go to your place after shift is over?  Michelle is bringing Catherine's thing over here, and I need to stop off at a friend's place for Sara's outfit."

Greg nodded. "Sounds good."

"And, if you eat a salad right now, I'll bring chocolate with me."

Greg frowned. "I have chocolate."

Heidi smiled, then leaned over the counter and whispered in his ear. 

Nick smiled as Greg's cheeks pinkened and he looked around nervously.

"I'll eat the salad," Greg said quickly. 

Nick laughed. "I have a feeling he'll turn vegetarian for you."

TBC

___________________________

Author's Note:

What will Catherine wear?  What does Sara have in store for Grissom?

Will Michmak and ZHeidi ever seek the professional help they so obviously need?  All this and more will be revealed ….

As always – please R&R.  


	4. Oral Fixations

IV - ORAL FIXATIONS

Nick laid his head down in Michelle's lap and hugged her knees. "I don't believe I said that to Sara and Grissom!"

Michelle ran her fingers through Nick's hair and tried to think of something comforting to say. "Well. . . you, uh. . ."

"Aw, Mich! It's no use, Grissom's going to have my hide!"

Greg looked up from the bag he had been rummaging through while he, Heidi, Michelle and Nick were discussing their plan of action for the rest of the week. "Nick, you can't think about it, man. You said it, now you have to deal with it. Thankfully, Grissom doesn't hold grudges."

"Sara does," Nick whispered into Michelle's knees. 

Heidi and Greg exchanged glances. Once, Heidi had accidentally put mustard on Sara's egg salad, and Sara still insisted that she not ever touch her sandwiches again. Heidi's brother Hans now made all of Sara's meals. 

"Don't worry about it, Nicky," Heidi said, trying to sound consoling. "I'm sure that after Sara sees what you want her to wear tomorrow, she'll forget all about it."

Nick looked up from his resting place and gave a sarcastic "Thank you" with an exaggerated Texas accent. 

"If I were you, I'd have Hans make all my sandwiches from now on, too," Greg muttered threateningly to his friend.  

Nick sat upright and cleared his throat. His friends were right, though. There was nothing further for him to do at this time. He may as well decide definitely on what the girls would wear the next day.

"Sara definitely should be in this blouse," Nick decided. "It'll be my penance to Grissom for what I said."

"For such a small piece of clothing, it's certainly full of 'Hail Mary's'," Greg decided. "I think she'll look good in it."

"And this skirt," Heidi and Michelle said at the same time, lifting a micromini simultaneously. 

Nick grinned. "Niiiiice. What else will she wear with it?"

Michelle picked up a pair of thigh-high fishnet stockings. "These always look trashy-uh-sexy!"

Nick kissed her nose. "How do I count thee? Let me love the weighs. . ."

Michelle brushed her lips against his and got lost briefly in the deep chocolate hue of his eyes.

Greg cleared his throat. "What about Catherine? What do you two have in store for her?"

Michelle smirked with satisfaction. "Well, Sara dressed up like a clown yesterday, so now it's Catherine's turn to be something. . . spectacular and patriotic all at the same time!"

Nick watched with bright eyes as the clever woman he loved reached into the brown bag of doom.

~*~*~*~

Catherine just smiled. "This is one of Warrick's fantasies, you know. He's going to thank you."

Sara rolled her eyes. "You've just set women back forty years, Catherine. I hope you're happy."

Catherine shrugged. "Hey, if your man wants you to put on a thong and do a lap dance, do it! It's called asserting your sexuality. You'll have him twisted around your little finger for weeks on one sex act alone!"

Greg whistled. "I think you and Heidi have a lot in common."

"I always knew I liked her. . ." Catherine smirked.  "Did you chose this or did Nick?"

Nick looked up from the paper he had been pretending to read, "It was a meeting of the minds. What do you think of yours, Sara?"

Sara smiled at Nick sweetly, "I think I'm still going to kill you for making me wear a clown outfit yesterday."

"You ever hear the old saying _'Forgive and forget' Sara?  I forgave you for putting me in thongs, and then giving Greg here the idea to burn my ass off with Gold Bond Medicated with Menthol.  Don't you think you're being a little too sensitive?"  Nick turned the puppy dog eyes on her, Texas-accent thicker than molasses, and ratcheted up the charm._

Sara looked at him in irritation before smiling grudgingly at him, "I didn't tell Greg to give you the powder."

"No," Nick agreed, "but you did give him the powder."

"How are the blisters?"

"Almost gone."

Sara sighed, "Okay.  Fine.  I forgive you.  The clown outfit really was an inspired idea."  Standing, she walked to the coffee machine and quickly poured them both a cup.  "And this outfit – while not something I'd normally wear – is going to make my evening interesting.  At least **_this_** is sexy."

Nick grinned, happily accepting the coffee Sara offered him, "So – you forgive me?"

Sara nodded, "For the clown outfit, yes."  Her grin turned sadistic when Nick took a big swig of coffee and immediately started choking,  "For your remark about _'Grissom's job'_ at our crime scene yesterday – no I don't think so.  I'm going to change now."

Greg and Catherine watched Sara dump her coffee in the sink, before turning curiously to look at Nick, who was furiously scrubbing his tongue with a paper napkin a donut had been sitting on.

"She put dish soap in the coffee – better dump that pot before some other poor shmoe gets poisoned," Nick muttered, grimacing in distaste at the soapy residue still in his mouth.

Greg just shook his head at his friend, before grinning at a confused Catherine and leaning over to whisper in her ear.

Catherine started laughing, "Nicky, Nicky, Nicky – no wonder she tried to wash your mouth out with soap."

* * * * *

"Greggo – you seen Cath around?"  Warrick's voice was casual as he spotted the younger man pulling his lab coat out of his locker.

Greg smirked at him, "I've seen a lot of her around.  She's smokin'!" He licked his finger and made a sizzling noise, but quickly stopped at the larger man's glare.  "What?  She is!"

"I hope I'm not going to have to kill you, Greg.  I'm just starting to get used to having a mascot around here."

"Mascot?!"  Greg was outraged, "I'll remember that when you come begging me to run your DNA samples first the next big crime scene.  I can't believe you said that, considering the outfit I brought Catherine was chosen specifically with you in mind!"

Warrick cocked an eyebrow at the younger man, "Greg, I would be very scared for my mental well-being if any outfit you chose for Catherine _specifically with me in mind did anything to…" His train of thought was derailed as a feminine leg snaked around the doorframe._

Greg grinned at him, "You were saying?"

Warrick absently swatted at Greg like one does a pesky fly, "By quite, mascot.  Oh. My. God!  Red leather knee-high boots!"  Stepping closer to the door, he could hear Catherine humming from behind the frame.

*Da-da-da-da-da-da-dum-dum, da-da-da-da-da-da-dum-dum, da-da-dum-dum-da-da-da…*

Warrick slumped down onto the wooden bench, clutching his heart, "Catherine – just let me see."

"You're sure you're ready for this, Rick?" she purred seductively, running the leather encased leg up the doorframe until it was horizontal to the floor, flexing the calf muscle.  "Think you're heart can handle it?"

"Please Cath!"  Warrick had forgotten that Greg was standing just two lockers down, enjoying watching his normally calm and collected friend turn into a big puddle of lust at the sight of one leg.

"Yeah, Cath – put out him out of his misery!" Greg hollered.  Catherine giggled and strolled seductively into the locker room.

Warrick just stared in mute amazement at the blue with white stars and red with gold trim. "This is like a childhood fantasy," he murmured.  Reaching out, he gently touched the thick golden bracelets at Catherine's wrists.  "I always knew you were Wonder Woman!"

Catherine just giggled.  Greg rolled his eyes, and walked past them out into the hallway, grinning over his shoulder, "You can thank me later, Warrick.  And I think you owe me a nice dinner at the Deli Llama for that mascot crack."

* * * * *

Nick could still taste the soap.  Vowing to himself that Sara was going to pay, he drank another bottle of water and grimaced as he tossed it into the trash. Through the large window, he could see Grissom walking slowly down the hallway towards the break room. 

"Nick." Grissom muttered in greeting, upon seeing the younger man leaning idly against the counter.

Nick nodded back, "Grissom."

"You're looking sort of green.  You getting sick?"

"Nope.  Sara just made me some special brew, and it's left a bad taste in my mouth."

Grissom raised an eyebrow at the younger man, offering a sage "I see," as he walked over to the fridge. 

Nick watched him curiously.  Something was not right.  "Grissom – are you feeling alright?"

"Fine, fine.  Do you know where my water went?"

Nick started guiltily, before replying, "Nope."

Grissom sighed, "Sara probably took it."  He sounded slightly bitter, and Nick had to grin.

"Trouble in paradise already?"

"No, not at all."  Scowl.

Nick narrowed his eyes as he watched Grissom head out of the break room with nary a goodbye.  The older man appeared to be limping. Or maybe not limping so much as…hitching. One slow step, plant the foot, and with minimal shaking of the hips, follow it up with another ginger step. Recognizing such a silly walk, Nick grinned and quickly caught up to the older man.  "You sure you're okay, Grissom?"

"Fine, Nick," Grissom gritted out.  "Why don't you go harass Sara?"

"I'm having more fun watching you walk," Nick replied.  "I … recognize … that walk.  Sara has you in a pair of thongs, doesn't she?"

Grissom just glared at him.  

"Who's the _'Sweet Transvestite' _now, Grissom?" 

Grissom stopped walking and turned his intense blue gaze upon Nick, "If you ever want to work a case solo, I'd shut up if I were you."

Nick grinned, "Threatening your employees, now.  Isn't that against the law - Lola?"

* * * * *

Brass walked into the break room a little straighter than he had been in years.

"You okay, Jim?" Greg asked from behind a giant cup of coffee. 

"Fine," Brass said with what could only be described as a smile on his lips. "I'm fine."

Greg raised an eyebrow. "You look a little thinner. Are you on a diet?"

Brass actually blushed. "I. . .uh. . ."

Then Catherine walked into the room, her hair a little wild since she decided to tease it.

Brass looked at her over a cup of coffee, trying to be covert, but Greg saw him. 

"Hey, Brass. . . you wanna actually put some coffee in that cup?"

Brass let out the breath he had been holding in since he saw Catherine in her Wonder Woman costume and glared at Greg with contempt.

"I just finished drinking."

Catherine and Greg exchanged a knowing look, then all eyes turned to the door when Sara walked in.

She sported a black micromini skirt and a see-through black blouse that was skin-tight and had strategically placed pockets at her breasts.

"Has Grissom seen you yet?" Greg wondered aloud.

Sara shrugged. "I don't think it matters. He'll see me when he hands out the assignments."

Greg wondered silently about the sudden change between the two and connected it to Nick's comment from the night before. He knew nothing about the thongs. 

Catherine raised an eyebrow at Brass, who was trying to not drool at the lovely half-naked blonde in front of him.

"Brass, it's okay."

Brass shook his head. "Is the lasso real?"

Catherine laughed out loud and patted his shoulder then turned her head instinctively when she felt Warrick walk into the room.

"Wonder_woman_," Warrick crooned as he sauntered over to her, bobbing and weaving a small but effective mating dance until he was standing right in front of her, then he grabbed her by the hips and gave her a very loud kiss.

Brass looked down into his empty coffee cup and cursed.

"What's wrong, Brass?" Warrick wondered, looking up from Catherine's strawberry-flavored glossed lips.

"I'm out of coffee," he grumbled in return.

Warrick's eyes followed Brass's short stocky frame as the older man walked out of the breakroom, still looking into his empty mug. 

Warrick gave a questioning look to Catherine who shrugged. "I guess you're not the only man who's had fantasies about Wonder Woman."

They heard files dropping from the doorway and turned to find Grissom staring open-mouthed at Sara.

"Blink, baby," Sara told him.

Whether out of rebellion or just the inability to comply, Grissom did not blink. He just continued to stare. 

Sara for her part did nothing to help him.

"What are you wearing?" Grissom finally managed to squeak out.

Sara shrugged. "Clothes. What are _you_ wearing?"

Grissom cleared his throat and handed out the assignments, keeping Sara with himself.

She just smiled at him while sucking her coffee through a straw. Only Nick noticed that he sweated every time she moved her lips down the straw.

TBC

______________________

Author's Note:  Sorry for the delay in posting folks, but Heidi and I found the recipe for the 'brownies' the cast of CSI bake together – nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

…Okay, so that's a lie.  Sue us – and before you do, please read and review.  Thanks!


	5. Nutcrackers

NUTCRACKERS

Greg was daydreaming about Heidi when Nick walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder, scaring the proverbial crap out of him.

Clutching his chest dramatically, he glared at his friend.   "Christ, Nick.  Give a little warning before sneaking up on a guy like that.  You almost gave me a heart attack."

Nick grinned, completely unrepentant, "I was whistling the theme from Wonder Woman, Greggo.  You were zoned.  Thinking about anything…or any_one in particular?"_

Greg smiled, "I was wondering if Heidi had ever dressed up like Super Girl.  'Cause I have a Superman costume at home and -"

"Whoa, whoa!! Too much information for me, Greggo."  Nick threw his hands up in jest, "I'm still debating bleaching my eyeballs out to burn away the sight of you in thongs.  The mental image of you in blue tights will give me nightmares."

Greg smirked, "You're just jealous because Heidi will play dress-up with me."

"Why?"  Nick retorted, "I don't want to play dress-up with Heidi.  Besides," and here he stopped to rub his hands together gleefully, "Mich has a cat-woman costume.  Made out of black vinyl."

Greg's mouth dropped open in shock.  "Michelle?  Sugar wouldn't melt in my mouth Michelle?  Cat woman?  You've got to be kidding me."  He looked at Nick suspiciously, "How do you know this?"

"She told me about it when I asked her where she got the Wonder Woman outfit.  Apparently, Mich and a friend dressed up like superheroes for Halloween."

"Have you actually seen a picture of her in it – or better yet, _her in it?"_

"Not yet," Nick grinned.  "The anticipation is half the fun."

Greg snorted, "You would say that."

* * * * *

"Want some help?"  Sara's chipper voice immediately behind him made Grissom start.  He had been staring at his bookcase, debating the best way to get a reference book he needed from the top shelf without stretching his arms over his shoulders and severely injuring himself.

He tried to ignore her, but found that impossible when she strolled over to him and stopped beside him, grinning at him saucily as she crossed her arms under her chest.  Grissom tried not to look at the strategically placed pockets pushed prominently into his line of vision with her movements.

"Uhh.  No, thank you.  I'm fine."

She grinned again, licking her lips slightly, before turning to contemplate the book case.  "You need your reference encyclopedia?  I can get that for you."

Her stiletto's tapped seductively against the tile.  Rising up slightly on her toes, she raised her arms over her head and fished the large encyclopedia normally on Grissom's desk off the top shelf.

Grissom gulped audibly as the already tight shirt pulled even tighter, and the already short micro-mini slid another half inch up her smooth thighs.  She had the longest legs he had ever seen.

Cursing under his breath, he shifted slightly on the balls of his feet before turning and gingerly moving back to his desk, shuffling his gait as much as possible so as not to lodge thong up his ass any further than it already was.

He had almost made it back to his desk when Brass stuck his head through the door of his office.  Grissom stopped his forward momentum and looked at his friend with barely concealed irritation.  "Yes?"

Brass just shook his head, "I forgot what I was going to ask you.  I didn't know you did impersonations, Grissom."

"Impersonations?"

"Yeah.  You look like Tim Conway doing his old man routine from The Carol Burnett Show.  Right down to the silvering hair."

Over at the bookcase, Sara laughed and quickly walked over to Grissom's desk, dropping the large book with a satisfying thud on it, before smiling at Brass as she strolled out of the office.  Brass watched her in stunned silence, mouth on the floor, blushing a furious red when Sara winked at him.

"Wow," Brass turned and smirked at Grissom.  "Now I understand the walk.  Pants a little too tight Grissom?"

Grissom just grunted at him, "You don't know the half of it."

He followed Sara down the hall, forgetting about his reference book for the time being. He caught up with Sara in the layout room and grabbed her thinly clad barely naked arm. 

"You can't go around like that all day!" he hissed into her ear.

Sara turned to him and wrapped her arms around her neck. "Why Mister Grissom, I do believe you are blushin'," she said in her best southern accent.

Grissom flustered and blushed profusely, then came in control of himself again and closed the door. 

"Sara, you can't wear that today."

She winked and leaned over the table. "You think I should wear it tonight?

God, yes! "I think you need to just…not wear it at all. It's obscene. You'd be arrested if we stepped outside. They'd think you're a hooker."

Grissom suddenly regretted using the 'H' word. The upwardly raised eyebrow of his paramour was the biggest warning sign he'd ever seen, but he wasn't sure what the offense was.

"Hooker? What, like your little friend Heather? I thought you liked girls who look like this."

Grissom felt sweat pouring out from places he didn't even realize that he had sweat glands. "Heather? Bu………"

Sara smirked. She had him in a thong and now he was sweating and stammering. Now was the perfect time.

She grabbed ahold of the hem of her see-through blouse and started to pull it over her head.

"Don't!" Grissom yelped, reflexively jumping back against the door as she continued to smirk and pull the mesh top over her head, revealing to Grissom's relief, a flesh-colored body suit.

"Pretty clever, huh? I've got to ask Heidi where she shops…" Her eyes met his, and she saw his desperation. "I'll go tell Greg that it's too obscene."

He gulped. "Sara, don't. It's okay. I made them wear the underwear, it would be unfair if I took you out of this."

Sara's attention was drawn to the window that looked out over the hallway. She saw Catherine walking down the hall purposefully, Warrick close behind her, but far enough back that he could admire her ass and the shake of her hips as she trod along in her high-heeled boots. 

"Besides, I think you made out better than Warrick. I don't think he'll be relaxed until sometime early tomorrow morning."

Grissom had to smirk at his two friends, obviously in love with each other, having fun fulfilling a fantasy. He turned back to Sara, who was putting her top back on. Now that he knew about the body suit, he wondered how he could have thought that she was bare underneath. He couldn't see her belly button, or the mole on her left shoulder. 

"All right. Let's go check out my reference. I'm looking for a type of scarab that usually only feeds on birds."

"Wouldn't you need Nick to help you with that?"  
"Maybe, but you look better in high heels."

Sara blushed and looked down, trying to not look too pleased at him saying that. If things went well, he'd be rubbing her feet when they got back to his place the next morning.

~*~*~*~

Warrick followed Catherine into the locker room and looked around, making sure they were alone. Then, he leaned against the door and pulled Catherine to him, planting a kiss firmly on her lips. 

Catherine giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Can't get enough, can you?"

"Of you? Never." He kissed her again, then ran his fingers lightly through her hair. "Here's the plan: We go home, I'll take Linds to school, you go in the bedroom and pull the shades and light some candles. We don't sleep."

Catherine giggled and held him closer. "Okay. Sounds like a plan to me."

He kissed her one last time, then reluctantly led her back out into the real world.

"This is going to be the slowest day ever."

She couldn't agree more. 

~*~*~*~

Brass was completely mesmerized by Catherine. 

Wonder Woman. It had to be Wonder Woman.

Every man's fantasy.  Even as a child, he had had the hots for Wonder Woman.  And then, in the '70s, when Linda Carter brought Wonder Woman to life in all her red-bustiered, tight blue hot pants glory?  Shabamm.  He had fallen in love, and never really gotten over it.  When Wonder Woman was on TV, he never went out.

"You two ready to go?" he asked with some difficulty, trying not to let his eyes stray too obviously up Catherine's red vinyl thigh high boots.  Her thighs were so taught she could probably crack nuts with them.   Unfortunately, they wouldn't be his. "Vega's already at the residence, we need to catch up."

Catherine smiled at Brass, and headed towards the car.  Warrick reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Whoa, now!  You're going to put some pants on right?"

Catherine smirked, "Pants?  Did Wonder Woman wear pants?"

"She did when she was her alter-ego."

Brass, to Warrick's supreme displeasure, took this moment to pipe up.  "Technically, I think Catherine changing is against the rules of the bet.  After all, Nick and Greg had to keep their thongs on the entire shift.  But I suppose we could go and clarify with Nick…"

Catherine giggled at the dark glare Warrick shot at Brass.   She was having fun.  Warrick…not so much.

"Fine.  She doesn't have to change.  BUT if Vega and his mustache gets within 5 feet of Catherine, his eyes better be firmly planted on her face.  Comprende?"

* * * * *

Greg stuck his head into the layout room.  "Yo!  Heidi just called.  She's taking a break in 15, and Mich is going to be there.  You wanna head over with me?"

Nick looked at his watch and grimaced, "It's a bit early.  I'll have to check with Grissom – he wanted me to get these pictures sorted and go over what we have so far on the Simmons case."

"Well, man.  Get cracking!  Heidi said 'pronto'.  She's not a girl I like to keep waiting."

Nick grinned and made a whipping sound, but he slid to his feet as he did it.  "Give me a minute.  I'll go ask Grissom."

* * * * *

Michelle grinned at the large salad Heidi was preparing.  "You really think Greg is going to actually eat that?"

Heidi grinned back, "He will if he wants to see me in this."  Reaching into a bag hidden under the counter by the till, she flashed a French Maid uniform at Michelle.  "Comes complete with a feather duster…."

Michelle laughed and blushed at the same time.  "I wish I could be as outrageous as you!"

"You can be.  It's easy, once you get the hang of it.  Nick wouldn't know what hit him."

"That's what I'm afraid of.  He's such a gentleman, and -"

"Listen, Mich.  Nick has been coming here to eat for a long time, and I've never heard of or seen him with the same girl more than once or twice, not counting Catherine or Sara.  He's seen you every day for what?  A week now?  That's a record for him.  Kick it up to the next level.  He only acts like a gentleman 'cuz that's the way his mama raised him.  I bet that beneath that teddy-bear exterior Tarzan is lurking."

Michelle giggled again.  "Maybe.  It sure seems to be working for Greg."

Heidi leered, "Ah – but Greg has always been a wild man.  That's what I like so much about him – I don't need to kick it up with him.  If anything, I have to tone it down."  

The tinkling of the bell over the doorway broke up their conversation. The two men entered and smiled.

Nick went immediately to Michelle's side and kissed her, while Greg leaned over the counter to see what his girlfriend was doing with a large bowl and metal tongs. He wasn't happy to say the least.

"Are those apples?" Nick asked.

"Pears," Michelle corrected him, as she popped a mint into her mouth. "Though, they do look like apples."

Heidi smiled at the darker man. "And there's also peppers, yellow and red, and a few blackberries for tartness, feta cheese crumbles, candied walnuts, and I'm just going to finish it off with some tangy raspberry vinaigrette."

Greg was trying very hard to not comment, but he found he had to. "Great. What am I going to eat?"

Heidi shook her head and continued to build the salad. "You know, Greg, I love you, but you are so prejudiced against looking un-macho that you let it cloud your judgement. Look at Hans. He's bigger than you, and I can't think of anyone who would call him feminine to his face, and he eats salads all the time."

"To paraphrase John Lennon, all I am saying is give grease a chance!" Greg retorted. 

Nick had an idea. "Okay, Heidi. You eat a meat sandwich, and Greg eats the salad. You guys switch. Try and see things from the other person's perspective."

Michelle agreed. "Yeah, compromise."

 "In the meantime," Nick said, "can I have a salad that's less…fruity?"

"Mich made you a salad, Nick. She put it in the refrigerator in the back."

Michelle took Nick's hand and led him to the back room where he pulled her into a furious kiss, like a man who had been thirsty all day, and she was his first drink of water.

"Missed me, huh?" she finally asked as he relented, both of them breathless.

"More than you know. Catherine loves her Wonder Woman outfit, by the way. So does Warrick.  I don't think you'll be getting it back anytime soon."

Michelle ran her finger over his lips, her eyes obviously thinking. "Nick?"

He kissed her fingertip. "Hmmm?"

"Do you ever want me to…dress up? For you?"

He pulled her close and kissed her again. "Only if you want to."

Michelle smiled. "But, do you want me to? If I wanted to, would you really want me to?"

"If you wanted to, I would want you to. But, if you don't want to, I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do."

"So you want me to?"

"I want you to be happy."

"Then I want to dress up for you."

Nick smiled and kissed her again. "I was hoping you'd say that."

~*~*~*~

Heidi speared a piece of spinach, then some radicchio, a small piece of yellow pepper, a blackberry, a crumble of cheese, and a candied walnut. 

"Open up," she ordered.

Greg crossed his arms over his chest in defiance.

"Open up!"

He shook his head.

"Don't make me get Hans-Peter over here to pry your mouth open," she cajoled. "Open!

Greg sighed and relented, accepting the concoction into his palette and chewing thoughtfully. It was sweet and sour and a little spicy and kind of rich and the feta cheese was strange, but it wasn't…unbearable. In fact, it was kind of…

His eyes shot up and met hers. She had a smirk on her face, and her green eyes were full of smugness. 

"Don't even try and pretend that you don't like it."

Greg swallowed. "Well, it isn't repulsive. You going to eat your sandwich?"

They had agreed to match bite for bite. Heidi stalled. "What happened to Nick and Michelle?"

They were still in the back room. "Let them be. Eat your sandwich."

She had let Greg put roast beef and Swiss cheese onto two pieces of bread with mayonnaise and a little mustard, but no lettuce or tomato or anything that even remotely resembled a vegetable. 

Heidi took a reluctant bite. The white bread stuck to the roof of her mouth and the mayonnaise felt like greasy salad dressing sliding down her throat. She gagged. She barely made it to the trash can when her throat refused the food she had never eaten before.

Nick walked out from the back room just then with Michelle behind him. 

"Whoa, Greg. What did you do? Kiss her?"

Heidi glared at them both and rinsed her mouth out. "I don't like meat," she said decidedly. "I've always wondered what I was missing. Now I know that it's nothing."

Greg handed her a fork and pushed the bowl of salad so that it was closer, leering as he did so, "That's not what you said last night…." 

Michelle looked at Greg and Heidi, before shooting an embarrassed gaze at Nick and suddenly announcing, "I forgot to get the salad!" 

She went back into the small kitchen and found it in the big refrigerator, then came back out to find Nick blushing and not meeting her eyes.

"What?" she asked.

Nick shrugged. Greg smirked. Heidi rolled her eyes and beckoned Michelle closer, leaning in and whispering in her ear, "Forget it. We need to keep these boys separated. And remind me to tell you what Greg said about Altoid mints. Could come in useful later on."

Michelle smiled, slightly nervous, before shooting a glance from under her lashes at Nick, who was still red from whatever Greg had said to him when she went to grab the salad.  "Okay.  Do I really want to know?"

Heidi giggled, "You really do."

_______________

Author's Notes:  All I have to say is we seem to be getting racier and racier.  I have visions of Nick as Aquaman now.  Please R&R – we'll try to get the next chapter up a little quicker.


	6. Superheroes

SUPERHEROES

"I can hear your teeth grinding from over here," Brass commented, as he watched Warrick watch Catherine as she talked to Vega and a couple of other uniforms.  

As Brass had suspected, the boys in blue had swarmed her the minute she had stepped out of the Tahoe, much like droid bees swarmed the queen, and wouldn't Grissom be glad to know Brass had actually learned something from him?

"I am not grinding my teeth," Warrick growled at Brass, frowning into the camera as he hunched down and tried to take pictures of a foot print before they poured the mold compound.

"I don't blame you," Brass continued on as if Warrick had never even spoken, his tone amused, "Those red vinyl boots…the golden belt…you just gotta learn to deal with it.  I mean, a woman like that…"

Warrick rose to his feet, flashing a quick glare at Brass before turning his watchful gaze back to Catherine and her hoard of admirers.  "I _did not just hear you admit you've been looking at her legs, did I Brass?"_

Brass chuckled, "Christ, Warrick.  Give me a break.  I'm a man, not a eunuch.  If it makes you feel any better, it's not really Catherine I'm lusting after here, it's Wonder Woman."

Warrick's lips lifted in a feral growl, "You better break that up before I decide to start kicking some ass.  Keep talking about lust and Catherine in the same sentence, and I might start with yours."

Brass arched an eyebrow at him, grinning, "If you were a super hero, you know who you'd be?"  

Warrick tried to ignore him, but Brass continued, "Wolverine."

"Yeah," Warrick grunted, "and who the hell would you be?"

"Captain Exposition, of course," Brass smirked, before heading towards Catherine, whistling the theme from Wonder Woman, step jaunty.

~*~*~*~

"We're not really looking for information on beetles, are we?"  Sara's voice broke through Grissom's reverie, and he realized he had been staring at her for a few minutes without speaking.  

Blushing slightly, he sighed, "That was just an excuse to keep you here.  I don't want anyone ogling you out in the field."

Sara grinned, "How chivalrous.  That doesn't explain why you're still here, though.  Why didn't you go out with Catherine and Warrick?"

Grissom shrugged, "Wanted to stay here with you, and the less I walk, the better the chance I will make it through this shift without having to admit myself for emergency thong removal surgery at the local hospital."  

Sara giggled, "It's not that bad, Griss.  It's just underwear."

"It is not underwear," Grissom responded ruefully, "Underwear comfortably _covers_ the buttocks – it doesn't try to slice them in half.  Besides which, Nick recognized the walk.  He knows you have me in a thong.  I didn't want to give anyone else the opportunity to figure it out."

"You are walking a little bit more bow-legged than normal," Sara grinned.  "Nick knows, eh?"

"Yeah."

"That means, sooner or later, everyone else will know as well."

"Yeah."

"Serves you right."  Hopping lightly to her feet, Sara stretched her arms over her head and bent slightly backwards, twisting her spine, before casting a speculative glance at Grissom.  "They really bothering you that much?"  

"Yeah."

Sara nibbled her lip, thoughtfully and with great exaggeration as she slid seductively towards Grissom.  "Maybe you just need to readjust them."

"Sara…" Grissom barely managed to squeak out, before Sara was standing beside him, purring in his ear as she ran her hands lightly down his sides and dipping her fingers into the waistband of his pants, "…what are you doing?"

Sara grinned evilly as she wrapped her fingers around the thin strip of material pulled tightly over Grissom's hips. "I've decided you don't need to wear a thong anymore," she whispered throatily, before twisting and snapping the material in half and pulling the thong out of the back of his pants.  "You can go Commando the rest of the night, GI Joe."

~*~*~*~

Warrick seethed quietly, trying to not react when Reyes watched _his _girlfriend bend over and pick up a hair. 

"Catherine, I'll do that. You just dust for prints. Reyes?" he turned to the officer with daggers in his eyes. "Don't you have a perimeter to secure?"

Reyes gave one last look at Catherine's cleavage, then turned and walked out the door.

"Put my jacket on," Warrick insisted, removing his jacket and holding it out to her. 

"Warrick, stop worrying about it."

The tall man closed the door of the residence with his gloved hand and faced the woman he loved. 

"Catherine, you are my girlfriend. I don't care _who you used to take it off for, you take it off for only me right now, and it's only right that you respect that." He approached her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "I don't go around showing Sara and Mandy my well-toned pecs now, do I?"_

Catherine traced the defined muscles in his chest with her finger and smiled. "You sure don't, War. You're all mine." Her hand moved from his chest down his toned stomach and around to his firm buttocks. "I'll put on the jacket."

Warrick trembled under her hands, but he was relieved to know that she would at least cover up her chest. 

"Thanks, baby. And when we get home. . ."

Catherine smiled. She could hardly wait.

That was why Warrick was confused by her frown.

"What's wrong, baby?" He rubbed her arms lightly, reveling as much in the feel of her muscles as she did in his. 

She looked down. "Nothing. It's. . .nothing."

Warrick knew very well that it was more than nothing, but he also knew Catherine, and a crime scene was not the correct place to try and coerce her into opening up.

~*~*~*~

Grissom winced as he sat down, and Sara giggled. 

He glared at her. 

"I'm so glad you find me amusing."

She giggled again, despite his glares. "I'm sorry, Griss. . .it's just. . .you had this whole high and mighty attitude while Greg and Nick were going through it. You kept dealing out this _'Mind Over Matter' nonsense to them, and now you're beginning to realize that it's not that easy when it's _your_ ass on the line." _

Grissom's look would have killed a lesser woman, but Sara was unmoved by him. 

"Don't try those intimidation tactics on me, Gilbert T. Grissom. I'm immune to you now."

He groaned and reached into the bag that Greg and Nick had brought him back from the Deli Llama. 

"What is this?" he muttered to himself. "Why does it look like a bite has been taken out of my sandwich?"

Sara frowned and took the square, white, rectangular object out of his hand. 

"I don't know. I'll go ask Gre—"

"Whoa, Griss, gave you the wrong bag," Greg said as he swooped in and grabbed the waxed paper and brown bag out of his hand. "This is yours. Heidi made it special."

Grissom was still feeling surly, so he made the mistake of retaliating with, "I hope she washed her hands after touching you."

Sara set her sandwich down, and Greg glared at him with big hurt eyes. 

He didn't say anything, just turned around and left.

Grissom was afraid to meet Sara's eyes, because he was sure that they were full of disappointment. 

The silence in the room crackled, and Grissom sighed as he looked at the brown bag Greg had dropped on his desk.  Rising to his feet, he looked at Sara and shook his head.  "That was rotten."

"Yes, it was."

Grissom sighed, "I suppose I should go and apologize."

"I think that's a good idea," Sara agreed.  

~*~*~*~

Greg was sitting in the lab, staring morosely at his microscope, when Grissom found him.

"Greg?"

Greg didn't even look at him, "Yeah."

"Uhm…I just wanted to say thanks for the sandwich, and – I shouldn't have snapped at you.  That was – wrong."

Greg shrugged, "Should be used to it by now."

Grissom stepped further into the lab, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Greg turned to look at Grissom, expression resigned, "Even when I think our – relationship – is changing; that maybe you're starting to see me as something more than Greg, the annoying lab guy, or Greg the goof – something happens to make me realize that's not true.  I don't know what bothers me more – knowing you don't respect me or knowing you never will."

"I respect you Greg.  I just – I'm a little tense today, and I took it out on you.  I shouldn't have."

Greg didn't say anything, just turned his back on Grissom and started fiddling with the slides for the microscope.  An awkward silence filled the room.  Grissom tried again.

"Greg – seriously, I'm sorry.  It's this damn bet you guys made with Sara and Catherine.  It's making me tense, and I'm not used to it.  Sara found out I was sort of in on it, and she's making my life miserable."

Greg cocked his head to the side, "You really like her, huh?  I'll admit, that outfit she's in is – va-va-va-voom!  You really respect me?"

"You're the best lab tech I've ever worked with," Grissom concurred. 

Greg grinned, "Well – okay, then.  I suppose you're allowed to have a bad day.  You know what the say about old scientists."  When Grissom looked at him blankly, Greg just grinned, "Old scientists never die – they just quit reacting."

~*~*~*~

"Hey, Sara."  Nick grinned at her as he walked into the break room.

Sara looked up at him and grimaced, "Nick."

"How're things?"

"Good. You?"

"Good."

Silence.

"You and Grissom seem to be pretty – close – lately," he smirked.  "What does he think of your outfit."

"He likes it just fine," she murmured.  "At least it's better than yesterday's costume."

Nick pretended to be offended, "I liked yesterday's clown outfit.  It really lightened the mood around here."

Sara stood and cracked her knuckles, "Who's mood?  Certainly not mine."  She paused, "I'm thinking that for tomorrow, you're going to let me choose my OWN outfit."

Nick grinned, "Really?  Now, why would I do that?"

"Because I know who you got the clown outfit from."

Nick's grin faltered, "What are you implying, Sara?"

"I'm not implying anything, Nicky," Sara replied sweetly.  "Just keep in mind – I'm a damn good CSI, and I know how to hide bodies."

Nick snorted, "You are such a poor sport.  You didn't hear me threatening you when you had me in thongs."

"You told me you were going to give me a wedgie," Sara retorted.

"A wedgie – that's really comparable to threatening to kill Mi – someone."

Sara grinned, "I wouldn't really kill her, Nicky.  But I do know a lot of things about you that she probably doesn't.  I could tell her all sorts of stories…"

"Fine," Nick snapped, "Be that way.  Wear what you want tomorrow – but it better be sexy."

Sara smiled, stepped closer, and patted Nick on the cheek, "It will be, Nick.  Oh – and have you told anyone else yet about Grissom and the thongs?"

Nick sighed, "You trying to steal all my fun, Sidle?  You don't want me telling anyone about that, either?"

Sara got a firm look to her face. "You tell anyone, your ass is grass, _Nicky_."

Nick gulped. He was sure that even though he was stronger, in a fight, Sidle would win.

~*~*~*~

Warrick walked into a quiet house when he came back from dropping Lindsey off at school. 

It sort of surprised him, as he stepped into the cool darkness and removed his sunglasses. 

"Catherine?" 

He poked his head into the kitchen, but she wasn't in there. He went up the stairs, ducking in the place where he usually hit his head on the turning steps and climbed all the way to the top floor. 

He found her in her bed, curled up in fuzzy pajama bottoms and a cotton T-shirt, looking very worn out and ready to call it a day. 

"Catherine?" he asked as he sat down next to her. "What is it, baby?" 

Warrick reached out his hand and touched her hair, but she pushed it away and shrank into a ball into the mattress. He knew that something had been bothering her for several hours, since they had gone over the Wrigley's house, but he hadn't had a chance to ask her about it yet. Especially since Lindsey was home when they got back to her house. 

"You can trust me, you know."

She finally looked up at him, and he saw that she had been crying. It almost broke his heart to see her so distraught. 

"Catherine. . ." he reached out and brought her against him, her body feeling limp against his, and very small. "Okay, you need to start talking right now, baby."

Catherine sniffed and shook her head. "How long is this going to last?" she asked at length.

He wrinkled his forehead. 

"How long, Warrick? How long until you. . ."

"Until I what?"

". . .leave. . ."

He almost laughed. "_That's_ what you've been worried about?" He chuckled lightly as he pulled her against him again, kissing her forehead as her head fell against his shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere."

Whatever comfort she must have derived from his words was soon lost somehow, as she pushed away from him and looked in his eyes-only moments later. 

"But. . .why? Why aren't you going anywhere, War? Why not? What do I have to offer you? I'm a single mother, I'm seven years older than you, and all the guys I have ever dated have been jerks, so there must be something wrong with me!"

She stood up and walked to the window, leaving Warrick looking confused, still sitting on the bed. 

"There's nothing wrong with you."

She turned around, her cheeks glistening with tears. "There has to be something wrong with me. Because I know that you're perfect, so it must be me."

Warrick stood up and wrapped his long arms around her shoulders, pulling her head against his chest and resting his cheek against her soft hair. 

"Do you really think I'd be wasting my time with you if I didn't think you were perfect, Catherine?"

She sniffed. "I know that you're only interested in my body."

"_What_?"

She pulled from his embrace again, but he held her firmly against him. "I know that you're only into my body. I see the way you look at me. I know you've always had a crush on me."

He let go of her shoulders and moved his hands to her face, his thumbs brushed the tears away from her eyes. 

"I am so appalled that you would think that I would spend so much time with you and Lindsey if I didn't really love you." His gray-green eyes became very serious. "I really love you, Catherine. I don't whore myself on women just because they have great bodies. If I did, trust me, there are a lot of other women I could be with tonight who would be less complicated than you are. I love you, Cathy. With all my heart. And I love Lindsey, too. I don't know where this is going to go in a few months from now, but I do know that I want to be with you as much as you'll let me, and I'll never hurt you if I can help it."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tiptoes so she could reach him. "I love you too, Warrick. I do."

Warrick smiled, "How could I not love you?  You're a wonder, woman."

_______________________

Author's Notes:  

Wow! Where did all of this angst come from? I don't know. Maybe Michmak  
and Zambonigirl are having RL troubles? Nah! But I promise that fluff will come back soon!


	7. Supermen

VII -SUPERMEN

Grissom gulped when he came out of his kitchen with a tray of food and drink. Sara was laying on his sofa, her arm draped over the back of it, her legs partially sprawled and partially closed, her hair a pool of bronze around her sleeping face, and her flesh-colored body suit was gone, making her outfit all the more provocative, as he could see shadows hinting at what was beneath, and her belly button was peaking out ever so slightly.

He hated waking her up, but he knew that she was hungry, and eggs tasted terrible cold.

"Sara?" he asked gently, setting the tray down on his coffee table. 

She moaned slightly and reached out a hand, pulling him closer to her. "Hi," she whispered.

"You took off the body suit."

"It was uncomfortable."

He gave a half smile and pulled her into an upright position. "Come on, you need to eat first."

She giggled and placed a napkin on her lap. "Okay. You've got me awake now. Let's eat." She popped a grape into her mouth. "Then we'll get down to business."

Grissom shifted in his seat, slightly uncomfortable, "Business?  Uhm…wh- what are you talking about?"

Sara grinned, "The business of you rubbing my feet; maybe a nice massage….other things…"  Her tone was perfectly innocent, but she winked at him with such exaggeration, Grissom immediately blushed.

"I love it when you do that," she murmured, shifting slightly and running a hand across his shoulder to the buttons of his shirt.  "I've never see a grown man blush as much as you do.  Let me see – does this blush go all the way down?"

Grissom groaned with pleasure as he felt her fingertips brush the underside of his shirt, "but Sara. . .oh, damn the eggs!"

~*~*~*~

Catherine woke up all by herself.  Warrick wasn't there.  Sighing, and trying to fight back the tears that suddenly threatened, she consoled herself by saying it was inevitable.  Despite what Warrick had said to her earlier, there were just too many obstacles in their way.  Better to realize it now, before too much of her heart was invested.

Which was crap.  She'd fucked up.  She'd fucked up, and now Warrick was – standing in the doorway of her bedroom, holding a tray of food, and wearing a pair of baggy sweats and no shirt. 

Catherine sat up and giggled wetly, "Warrick?  What are you –"

The younger man smiled tenderly at her, and walked into the room, "I thought I would make you breakfast in bed."  Stopping in front or her, he gently lowered the serving tray to her lap, "Fresh cut fruit salad, grapes – cantaloupe – strawberries.  Chocolate sauce."  His voice was soft and low, practically a purr, as he dipped a strawberry in the topping and lifted it to her lips, wiping away a couple of the tears that still hung like diamonds in her lashes.  "I told I wasn't going to leave you Cath, and I meant it."

Catherine smiled as she accepted the strawberry from him, wrapping her mouth around the luscious fruit and licking some of the chocolate from his fingers as she ate the berry.  Warrick's eyes darkened with emotion, and he leaned in and kissed her tenderly on the forehead.

"Plenty of time for that later," he murmured, sliding slowly to his feet.  "I got to thinking about what you said earlier, about me being only into you for your body, and I wanted to show you that it's not true.  I mean, I do love your body, Cath.  But I love the woman in that body more.  I never meant to make you feel otherwise."

Taking a couple of steps away from the bed, he continued talking, "After you fell asleep, I went shopping.  I figured, if you could be my Wonder Woman, the least I could do was be your Superman, so…"

He turned his back on Catherine and shimmied his hips a little, running his hands around the inside of his waist band, yanking his sweatpants of in one quick movement, before turning back to face her.  Catherine started laughing.

"Warrick – oh my god!  Where did you…what…"

Warrick smiled at her, and flexed his muscles, "There's a little store I know that sells underoos for adults.  You like?"

Catherine giggled, and let her eyes travel up his long muscular legs to the tight royal blue underwear with a red waistband and a big yellow 'S' emblazoned right on the front, allowing her eyes to heat before she looked up into his, "I like a lot."

The silence was deafening, fraught with such emotion that it almost made Catherine cry again, "Come back to bed and let me…"

Warrick leaned in for a quick kiss, "Oh no…not yet…you must eat your breakfast while I serenade you."

Catherine started giggling again when Warrick grabbed Lindsey's Jam Master J Keyboard, and turned it on.  Warrick grinned at her, "I'm dead serious here, Cath.  Stop laughing, while I serenade you."

Clearing his throat self-consciously, he winked at her, "Think Johnny Cash, and not Roberta Flack, okay?"

~The first time ever I saw your face  
I thought the sun rose in your eyes  
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave

To the dark and the empty skies, my love,  
To the dark and the empty skies.  
The first time ever I kissed your mouth  
And felt your heart beat close to mine  
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird  
That was there at my command, my love  
That was there at my command.  
The first time ever I lay with you  
I felt the earth move in my hand  
I thought our joy would fill the earth  
And last 'till the end of time, my love,  
And last 'till the end of time.~

Catherine was giggling and crying by the time Warrick finished singing.  Smiling at her tenderly as he put the small keyboard down and slid it across the room with his foot, he kneeled at the side of the bed.  Leaning forwards, he kissed both her eyes, enjoying the slightly tangy taste of her tears, before cupping her face with her hands and threading his fingers through her hair.

"I wasn't that bad, was I?"

Catherine's hands reached up and covered his, her eyes luminous as she drowned in his, before she leaned into him and gently kissed the pulse point at the base of his throat.

"You were perfect, Superman."

"I really do love you, Catherine.  I think this could be forever."

~*~*~*~

Grissom felt a new skip in his step when he walked into work that evening, Sara close behind him. 

She had agreed to leave him alone about the underwear and let him go back to his comfortable boxers, and all it had taken to convince her was a night of sensual pleasure that had been as much about his satisfaction as hers.

Greg was among the first to notice the difference in his boss's demeanor.

"You're in a rather. . .chipper mood today, Griss."

Grissom smirked. "Of course I am. I'm always in a good mood."

"Riiiiight. . ."

Sara walked into the DNA Lab, and Greg's eyes widened. She was wearing a skintight tank dress that could hardly be called a dress at all, it was so short, and ruby red. Something that she would never wear under normal circumstances. 

The look on Grissom's face was that of pure shock. "_That's_ what Nicky gave you to wear?" His eyes dipped down her long, light frame starting with her slightly curly hair, to her nearly bare shoulders, down her small perfect breasts, straining against the tight material, her flat stomach, and her long, shapely, lovely legs. . .bare all the way down to her strappy stiletto's. 

"Nice. . .necklace. . ." he finally managed to squeak out, trying to keep his eyes on the thin bit of gold metal around her neck, and not on the body he knew was underneath that dress.

"Thanks, Griss. Greg? Do you have those results for Cath and Warrick? They're busy trying to figure something out."

Greg nodded and pulled a file out of the organizer on his desk. 

"Right here, Sara. Uh. . .out of curiosity, where did Nick get that dress?"

Sara winked. "He made me promise not to tell. I think there's a tawdry history behind it. He seemed really reluctant to discuss it at all."

Greg raised an eyebrow. "Well, okay. Heidi says we should all come in for dinner tonight. She has some new 'Recipes by Hans' to try out on all of us."

Sara raised an eyebrow. "Is she cooking?"

"Funny. Be there," Greg said, straight faced. 

Sara sighed. "Okay, it sounds fun. If we have a slow night, I'm sure we can all get there together."

"It could be fun," Grissom commented, crossing his arms over his chest. "The last day of these bets-_forever!" The last part was said with extra emphasis, to let everyone know that this was the last time that there would be these sorts of bets. They caused too much controversy, and gave the Sheriff and the day shift too much ammo to critique them with. _

Sara and Greg could only nod with understanding, contrite looks on their faces. Once he left the room, though, they smirked at each other. He could stop them from betting about stuff on the job, but he couldn't stop them from the day-to-day pranks they pulled every day on each other. 

~*~*~*~

"Cath – there you are!"

"Greg," Catherine smiled at him.  Greg gulped.  Catherine looked happier than he had ever seen her.  "What's in the bag?"

Greg blinked, and blushed slightly when Catherine quirked an eyebrow at him.  "Yeah, bag.  You're outfit – I thought you were going to just not show up…"

"Would I do that to you, Greg?  A bet's a bet, after all.  Besides," she stretched her neck luxuriously, "that Wonder Women outfit was a lot of fun."

"Seriously?"  You mean, it didn't bother you to wear it?"

"Nope.  Actually, it was very….educational…for me.  So – what's in the bag?"

Greg grinned. "It's gold, it's lame….it's guaranteed to knock Warrick's socks off…It's—"

"The shortest mini-dress I've ever seen in my life!"  Catherine started laughing.

"It's got built in matching underwear," Greg added, handing it to Catherine.  "It's actually a figure skating dress – but I think it will do the trick."

~*~*~*~

"So, Heidi – what did you want me to come here for?" 

Heidi grinned as she grabbed her friend by the arm and pulled her into her apartment.  "I thought I'd help you out somewhat, with the Nick sitch."

"Meaning…" Michelle said dubiously, trying not to let a note of fear creep into her voice.  Heidi was wild.

"I got you an outfit.  And you're wearing it tonight to the Deli, where we are meeting the guys, and possibly Grissom, Sara, Warrick and Catherine for dinner.  Hans wants to try out some new ideas, and he needs guinea pigs.  You're going to help me serve the food."

"O-kay.  And you will be wearing?"

"The same thing you are – a uniform.  With some slight alterations, of course."

"Of course."  Michelle bit her lip thoughtfully, "Is the uniform tight?"

"Yep."

"Is it really short?"

"Oh yeah."

"It's not pink, is it?"

Heidi giggled.  "No.  It's shiny black pleather.  A friend of mine works at a fetish club, and I talked her into lending me a couple of outfits."

"Fetish club?"

"Yeah – you know, whips, nipple clamps – bark like a dog and call me 'Mommy' –" Heidi waggled her eyebrows, her smile huge as she watched her friend turn beat red.  "Nick won't know what hit him."

"It won't be me!" Michelle interjected, "…hitting him, I mean.  He's not…uh..you don't think he's into that, do you?"

Heidi shrugged.  "Too much kink for him.  But you might be able to convince him to let you tie him up.  Or better yet, he could tie you up, and –"

"Heidi!"

Heidi shot an innocent, yet arch, look at Michelle.  "Blushing.  I bet Nick will love that.  You need to loosen up a bit, chica."

_______

Author's Notes:

Bet you all thought you'd never get another chapter, didn't you?  Well, we tricked you.

Sorry for the major delay folks, but I've been really sick and Heidi has been incredibly patient waiting for me to get better – even going so far as to send me virtual homemade chicken soup.  Hopefully, things are back on track now.  

So, let us know what you think – good, bad, ugly?  R&R.  We'll try to get the next chapter up really, really, really soon.  Like, within the next week or so.  Promise!


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